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360 Degree New Perspective

Posted by Lisa on January 16, 2012

The past couple of days have been stressful for me.  It seems as though stress is something that none of us can avoid in this life, huh? The past couple of days have given me an opportunity to be Ok with being afraid (it's warranted) but to also look at myself with new power, with new opportunities and a new perspective.  This is my 360 degree perspective from a new view.  This is how I am changing my own KARMA.

When I said to myself, the Universe and the Earth a month or so ago, "I want to get back in to MY flow" (instead of my parents and no longer living according to everyone else's flow), my higher self, the Universe and the Earth heard me and responded.  I was given exactly what I asked for. The trick is in being willing to be open to how it's presented.

I've felt powerless to the "outside" for most of my life.  This belief and feeling of powerlessness has been presented to me by my parents, other people, God, diabetes and life circumstances. It has been my karma.  The only way I've found to transform this belief for myself is in being willing to go through the natural process that life took me on; to continue to move forward with my goals; to continue to get to know me better and also being willing to continually try new 'next steps'.  I had to be willing to have new experiences.  I had to willing to try new things even though I was scared to death and had no idea what it looked like.  I had to keep moving forward (while being afraid).  I had to be willing to take chances and to trust myself to take of care of myself no matter what came to me.  I HAD TO TRUST MYSELF!! I had to trust myself in the flow.

My life has become about no longer trying to STOP something (whether it's being afraid or unpleasant or pleasant).  I allow it in.  Since my desire has been for FLOW, I have had to take back my power which means learning how to trust in myself in a new way.

This is how I'm changing my own KARMA - my 360 degree view.

I started acupuncture last week. My goal when going to see him was to get back to MY flow. After taking a short test, he told me that I am a "Water" person.  After a series of quick questions, we learned that I'm living more as an "Earth" person though.  His goal is to boost my water energy so that I can get back into MY flow.  I've felt more like myself than I have in years (which is evident to how much I've written in blogs within the past week).

This is an extension of my desire for myself being presented to me...

We have lived in our home for almost 11 years now and I've never been afraid here.  Yesterday afternoon that changed.

Our neighbor came over to let us know that his garage had been broken into the night before.  He also let us know that a month ago he had called the police for us because someone was sitting in front of our home.  The people took offf before the police got here but I'm extremely grateful to our neighbor for being willing to take that step for us.  I realized yesterday morning when going out to feed the birds, there were foot prints in the snow leading behind our house. I totally blew it off but now know it's possible that the robbers had been behind our home.  

For obvious reasons this is scary for me.  I was concerned about our neighbors and also for us in our home.  Our homes should ALWAYS be safe and that should never be taken from us.

I grew up with parents who traumatized me.  My home as a child was not a safe place for me.  In fact, no place was safe.  Like most of us, I was taught to "respect my elders".  The "elders" were the ones that I needed kept safe from though because they were the ones crossing my boundaries.  I was not taught to respect myself so I continually allowed others to disrespect me. I was not allowed to say "no" to others.  My world was about the "outside".

As an adult, I've done a lot of work to transform this trauma and to take my power back.  The neighbor who came over to let me know about the break in and who had called the police for us a month ago is someone who has a very loud motorcycle and this has been a constant trauma trigger for me for the past two years.  I've had a really  hard time getting past this fear/trigger and moving on to the next step.  I've lived in constant fear of the noise for two years now.  I didn't know what the other side of letting the trigger go looked like. I was scared to let it go and take the next step because I didn't know what I would find.

I had the opportunity to view my neighbor and myself from a new perspective yesterday.  While knowing that I have boundaries that I will stand up for with the motorcycle noise, I now know that I have more options than I believed I was capable of carrying out before.  I have been encouraging myself over the past few weeks to "keep moving" (this is a huge step for trauma and essential because it paralyzes us) and encouraging myself that I can get to the "next step" of getting myself moving and trusting myself even more.  

I may always have a trauma trigger when it comes to the motorcycle and loud noises and I'm becoming OK with myself in that - this is naturally helping to transform the trauma.  I'm learning that there is a next step that I am capable of carrying out beyond repeating my same karma over and over again.  I'm learning that I can let flow happen because I will take care of myself.

When we are willing to take a next step, we have more options available to us.  I believe more in myself.  I'm still a work in progress but I have taken a next step.  In order for me to tranfsform my trauma and anxiety, I have to show my brain something new.

I'm a Type 1 diabetic and since receiving the news yesterday afternoon, I've hit 360 twice (which is pretty darn high and not pleasant).  I've started to think about how ironic it is that my number has been 360.

I've been presented with an opportunity to look at how powerless I've felt in my life and to change my karma for myself.  I have lived my life in shame (the belief that I am BAD, therefore, I deserve and have caused bad things to happen so I can't stand up for myself).

I am learning how to take charge of my own life, to view from a new 360 degree perspective and to grab on to what's truly important:  my husband, cat and I are safe; our neighbors are safe; I'm learning how to work together with someone who I've held a grudge against for two years now because of his motorcycle noise; I'm grateful that he was willing to call the police and watch out for us even if we haven't always seen eye-to-eye in the past; we have neighbors that care about each other and I'm more powerful than I believed I was.

Take a chance and view your life, goals and desires from a higher level of KARMA.  You can change the 360 Degree view of your life (your karma).  YOU ARE THAT POWERFUL!


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