Home > Blog > Day 18 of My 20 Days of Changing a Habit

Day 18 of My 20 Days of Changing a Habit

Posted by Lisa on August 18, 2011

I'm 18 days into my 20 days of changing and creating a habit.  How is diabetes allowing me to put everything I'm learning into practice? Keep reading and find out... The first 14 days were pretty easy as far as not taking the over-the-counter pain reliever or feeling any physical symptoms.  It took about two weeks for my anxiety to start coming in stronger and for the physical symtoms to start showing.  What I've moved deeper into is my realization that I was using the pain reliever as a way to deal with my anxiety of feeling like I didn't have any power in this world.  

I used to think that my karmic cycle was about my parents but I've realized that my cycle is actually in my not feeling worthy of walking away from or speaking up for myself in situations or with people in which I am being disrespected.  I am learning more and more every day that I do carry the power (not others or anything outside of me).  Instead of taking a pill to give me my power, I am now learning to breathe and how to do other things mentally to bring me back to the present.  Yes, I said LEARNING how to breathe.  This will take practice since my first reaction is to hold my breath and reach for something outside of myself.  I now know at a deeper level that I have what I need within me (while sometimes also needing to ask someone to help me).  I am learning how to rely on and trust ME.  Today I'm being given the chance to put all of this into practice.  I am an insulin-dependent diabetic and I wear an insulin pump.  It provides insulin for me 24/7 (something pretty important).  It's wonderful until it doesn't work.  Today it stopped working.  The company has been great and is sending me a replacement that I will receive tomorrow morning.  Until then, I'm not feeling my best so I'm taking care of myself by taking it easy.  Today I'm reminding myself to breathe, going back to manual shots, taking care of myself, listening to my thoughts (that tell me I've done something wrong when I haven't and then reminding myself that I haven't) and keeping in touch with my husband.

What will Day 19 bring?

 

Comments:

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